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She says she has been doing a lot of reading about it and has a work friend who is in an open relationship and it works for her.

I am outraged by the suggestion as I feel it is a major threat to our marriage.

It sounds like you have a strong marital connection and are completely taken aback by the question, which is understandable. Here is the key quote, far as I’m concerned: “She says it would be ‘just sex,’ we would make the rules in advance, no feelings involved.

It sounds so simple but I am not sure that is how it works.” Frankly, I’m not sure it works, period.

I love and value my wife way too much to allow her to have sex with other men.

I know that I would be extremely jealous and could not handle it.

Even being extremely intellectual has emotional overtones; lack of emotion (coldness, sternness, etc.) is itself an emotion or affect, as we say in psychology.

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Are there ways in which she can express some of those desires with you?

She says the idea would be to just "spice things up" and "keep things fresh" and that she thinks it could ultimately bring us closer together.

We have a great sex life, which I think she would agree with. I feel like my options are: (1) refuse to play along and hope she can respect that and stay happy and faithful; (2) pursue a divorce; (3) allow her to play outside the marriage while I stay true; or (4) both of us try it and hope for the best. I think I would find it humiliating to tell another person about this, and it might not even help anyway.

After 17 years of marriage (no kids), my wife told me she would like to open our marriage.

This would mean allowing each other to sleep with other people.

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